Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have a reading level above third grade

I can read

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

If you think “the harder you train, the fitter you’ll get”, you are WRONG, according to this expert—here’s what you need to know - Fit&Well

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What does the Turkish word çıplak mean?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What kind of lights would you like to use for your home decor?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I see through liars

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Column | How many years do I have left? An app gave me some helpful insights. - The Washington Post

I understand how hurricane paths work

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Vantablack Paint Might Have A Legitimate Use Case In Space - Jalopnik

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

A hidden swarm of 'city-killer' asteroids around Venus could one day collide with Earth, simulations suggest. - Farmingdale Observer

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Are Democrats freaking out that President Trump and America have plans to prosecute election cheaters?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What happened to everybody's thick skin? It used to be that people really didn't get offended, now however, everybody gets offended by the least little thing.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t buy bullshit

IBM Stock Gains As Tech Giant Offers Plan For Quantum Computing's 'Next Frontier' - Investor's Business Daily

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What are the most popular recruiting tools in the US?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

US housing market now has 500K more sellers than buyers — and it’s leading to a shift in the balance of power - Yahoo Finance

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Is a man who enjoys anal sex considered a sissy? For those who think so, why can't they be thought of as someone who enjoys a variety of sexual pleasure?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Judge extends order suspending Trump’s block on Harvard’s incoming foreign students - CNN

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I actually pay taxes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can count

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”